furtive explorations

Most Outrageous was wall humping, rubbing a thigh against a security card scanner to allow access without the inconvenience of removing the card from one's pocket. We call this butt-thumping or butt-beeping at work.

I have to say who ever wrote "m'kay (2) South Park movie substitute for F-word." needs to have their head examined tho. I'm pretty damn sure that "M'Kay" is a just a mumbled variation of "Okay". I say that with a fair bit of authority because I've seen every M'Kaying episode multiple times...

Seriously, you know what I think? The fucking thing is a huge scam. That's right, we are looking at the creation of the world's newest and potentially largest Multi-Level-Marketing scam. Yep, pretty soon now we will find out that you can buy into the secret for only $5.12. And, if you pass the chance to buy into the secret to just ten friends and 4 of them buy in, you keep $2.56 from each and pass the rest up the chain. Each level of the chain keeps half of what you give em and passes the other half up. It is simple and easy to join and everyone will want to keep the secret so that they don't wind up out 5 bucks.

Or maybe it is a local area, power distribution and networking system that will allow most of our common appliances to work without wires or network connections. Or an exciting new dog-grooming system. One of those three, I figure...

Honestly, the only thing they have invented so far is hype and the only thing they have done is stiir up a lot of media frenzy. Stop picking at it and let it heal.

So, I'm going to talk about yesterday. =)

One thing I never got around to blogging was the wonderful experience I had with dinner last night. It seems that Campbell Soup's new cans are out. No more wimpy can-openers or hammering cans open with a screwdriver here. Nope, now they have the new Fast Ejection System Pop-Tops. All the damn cans have the finger-ring popper things.

Imagine me there in the kitchen, standing next to the plate and bowl, leaning on the counter, can opener in hand. No really, I didn't notice when I bought the damn things See in your mind's eye the befuddlement on Mark's face as he notices the strange lumpy top he is about to clamp a can-opener on. Pretend he didn't poke at the top with the opener, like an ape with a square peg and a board full of round holes, desperate for a banana. Let your mind wander a bit as R. Hero takes the time to put the opener back in its drawer because that bit is boring. Now focus sharply again as Mark, can held at chest level, manfully flips up the top, ignores the 2. Pull Back Slowly step, and rips that top off in one smooth move. Now, imagine that time slows down enough for you to see the solar flare-like arc of soup, leaping from the can like the incontinent from the backseat after a long trip. Up, up the soup flies to the left. Up, up swings Mark's arm, cutting a Zorro-ish/disco figure as his hand reaches to the sky with the vibrating lid. Down, down comes the soup. Over Mark's face, on his shirt, down the leg, across the toes. A single lump of potato leaps from his knee to the floor in front of him.

Mmm, clam chowder. Time stands still when it is splattering itself across you like the closing scene in a pr0n movie or one of the myriad dying-android scenes from the various "Alien" films. If you ever need a little extra time to get something done, just a few micro-seconds, remember to splash a good-sized can of thick, creamy clam chowder on yourself.

Really, I only chucked about 15% of it around. Still, I was covered from head to toe with starchy goodness.

No, for me, the PowerBox is the way to go. If this was actually out and not just a concept vehicle I'd start crying about the fact that I bought a normal Pontiac Bonnevile rather than a SUV that gets 25 miles to the gallon on Natural Gas. We are talking a hybrid NG/Electric that leans toward the 6-cylinder NG engine and uses electric to assist rather than vice-versa. 0-60 in 7+ seconds, in a SUV, with good gas-milage and great style. This is the first Dodge I've seen where I didn't immediate hate the front end in like 5 years. I'm telling you, with a NG station not 2 miles away and a 300+ mile range on that bad boy, I'd be set up for years. If they sold this, I'd try and sell my not-even 6 month old car to get one. It is that cool.

You Damn Kid has been mentioned before but now I gots ta tell ya, it will be added to the sidebar. I'm so glad this came back on my scope after an unfortunate browser mishap involving a scroll-mouse and a poorly placed pull-down.

BTW, this is why I read web comics. That is too funny and completely unpublishable at the same time.

Things I didn't add but might:

• Living in Greytown. Yeah, everyone else lists it already, most popular comic, yadda yadda. If everyone else jumped off a bridge, would you? I know I would as long as they coonvinced me the harness and bungie rig was new and double-checked that day.
• Thrilled.syste.ms. I doubt I'll add it but you need to see the Pika bit. It is in november if they take the colored version down off the front page.
• That Weekly, yeah, you know, that weekly. OK, that makes no sense. Neither does the strip but that doesn't stop the funny., you-know-what-I-mean? two out-of-place quotes, "Page called off due to wrong" and "Man, you look gay in 3/4 view." This is a comic that will appeal to Diablo fans and people of Sorbo.
• Otaku feh aka Big ones; I'm not saying I like this comic, I'm actually just trying to remember to keep and eye on it. The same way you don't turn your back on a huge, ravenous dog while you try and wash the bar-b-que sauce off...
• Vet on the Net. No idea here folks. I just like that cat-woman. And the huge list of unlinked comic sites down the left side for no reason.
• Slick Ninja doesn't seem to actually be a comic, plus I mentioned it before. Nevertheless, her last name for now, is Mills and she did Do You Love? so she is OK by me. =)

No really, off to bed...

Between switching to days and the now over holidays, my time has been thinner and thinner recently. I've not read some of my favorite comics in almost two weeks. No new comics have been read in all that time either. There is just so much you can do in a day and the change over has left me weak as a kitten. Plus, there are a thousand other things to distract me.

Oh well, at least I'm not cursed to walk the earth as a corpse, struggling just to get a little brain in here and there between terrorizing malls and farmhouses.

Now, I've gotten the chance to meet online celebrities and personalities before, most notably at PerlCon 2. But there is something different about finding new people who like the same things you do and are local. I should also point out that I hooked a friend on a video game that she later met her now husband through.

And people said the Internet de-humanizes us.

Luckily, there is a boatload of informative sites out there. Assuming you can see past the weirdos, that is. Oh well, it will be fun finding out what it is I'm watching...

Hopefully in the next day or two we'll get back to normal around here. Until then this is all really personal and boring. OTOH I got a great present that came with what has to be last millenium's most inane product booklet. Of course there really aren't any instructions possible for what is basically a plastic loop that is all bendy and twisty so I guess the copywriters were sort of flailing around in the dark. I'll snag it and give you a taste. Beware of the website, it requires a 4.0 browser, 7MB of free memory, 200Mhz Pentium or better, sound card, and a resolution of 1024x768 or greater. Holy shit, I have video games with lower requirements.

"As Tangelonians, it is our duty to help the people of Earth," said Loopy Lucy to her sidekicks, Twisted Teddy and Kink the Link. "We must share our peace and creativity so the Earth people can be as happy as we are."

After that, it gets saccarine.