Here is an odd occurence, I have nothing to say about today. Nope, nothing happened that is worthy of talking about. Sure there was some work stuff and some goofing off stuff but all-in-all it was an eventless day.
So, I'm going to talk about yesterday. =)
One thing I never got around to blogging was the wonderful experience I had with dinner last night. It seems that Campbell Soup's new cans are out. No more wimpy can-openers or hammering cans open with a screwdriver here. Nope, now they have the new Fast Ejection System Pop-Tops. All the damn cans have the finger-ring popper things.
Imagine me there in the kitchen, standing next to the plate and bowl, leaning on the counter, can opener in hand. No really, I didn't notice when I bought the damn things See in your mind's eye the befuddlement on Mark's face as he notices the strange lumpy top he is about to clamp a can-opener on. Pretend he didn't poke at the top with the opener, like an ape with a square peg and a board full of round holes, desperate for a banana. Let your mind wander a bit as R. Hero takes the time to put the opener back in its drawer because that bit is boring. Now focus sharply again as Mark, can held at chest level, manfully flips up the top, ignores the 2. Pull Back Slowly step, and rips that top off in one smooth move. Now, imagine that time slows down enough for you to see the solar flare-like arc of soup, leaping from the can like the incontinent from the backseat after a long trip. Up, up the soup flies to the left. Up, up swings Mark's arm, cutting a Zorro-ish/disco figure as his hand reaches to the sky with the vibrating lid. Down, down comes the soup. Over Mark's face, on his shirt, down the leg, across the toes. A single lump of potato leaps from his knee to the floor in front of him.
Mmm, clam chowder. Time stands still when it is splattering itself across you like the closing scene in a pr0n movie or one of the myriad dying-android scenes from the various "Alien" films. If you ever need a little extra time to get something done, just a few micro-seconds, remember to splash a good-sized can of thick, creamy clam chowder on yourself.
Really, I only chucked about 15% of it around. Still, I was covered from head to toe with starchy goodness.